


Cor the Pun-ished

by smgmcrznana



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Gen, Horrible Puns, fun with names, puns, sleep deprived humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-27
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2019-01-25 02:15:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12520676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smgmcrznana/pseuds/smgmcrznana
Summary: Nyx, Ignis, Crowe & Titus have fun with the Marshal’s good name.





	Cor the Pun-ished

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Contains adult humour, but more importantly _lame_ humour.

It was going to be a long day.

Cor and Ignis were on their way to the Kingsglaive’s HQ to meet Captain Drautos. It was early morning, the sun still unrevealed on the sky. At the entrance the captain was waiting with two glaives, both of whom Cor had met and worked with before.

“‘Morning Captain,” Cor’s breath was visible to the cold morning. The chatting glaives gave the two men a nod.

“Marshal,” Titus made no attempt at hiding the sourness in his voice. Nothing unusual or personal if one knew the captain and his dislike of disrupted sleep. Greetings were exchanged as cheery as they could be this early in the morning.

“Have you been briefed?” Titus guided everybody into an empty room, flicking on a light switch. 

“I only know as much as you do, but it seems to be a precaution rather than an emergency,” Cor replied, the taste of his first cup of coffee still fresh in his mouth.

“Nothing out of the ordinary, then?” Titus raised an eyebrow, wondering why he had been called upon if there was no actual emergency. Of course, this was beyond Cor’s control, but the captain’s annoyance was hardly hidden in his question towards the marshal.

“Seems like it.” If Cor was tired or annoyed at having to cut his sleep short just for an exercise, he hid it well.

"I think you mean nothing out of the _cor_ dinary, captain,” Crowe perked up in front of them, her voice way too gleeful for the time of morning; “not much of a … _cor_ deal, right, sirs?” Crowe stood at attention, a glint in her eyes as she looked at the men. The taller men both regarded Crowe, none answering her question.

“Sorry.” Crowe cleared her throat and looked away. Nyx grabbed her arm to guide his fellow glaive away, laughing to himself.

“It’s going to be a while before we can do anything,” Cor finally said, taking a seat on a bench nearby as there was no need to stand around to wait.

The rest followed, Crowe and Ignis taking up the seats beside the marshal, the captain next to Crowe and Nyx next to Ignis. They sat in silence, all feeling the drowsiness of an early rise. The clock on the wall ticking loudly in the quiet room. These procedures were rare but nothing new, often just random exercises taken to test evacuation or defense routines. Cor and Titus were used to being called upon at all hours of the day, they were also used to hours of waiting. Ignis too was familiar with this kind of routine, but it was clear that Nyx and Crowe were restless, trying to find something to occupy their minds with in the beige and boring room. Besides hideous cheap furniture, there was a coffee machine, the kind which one could tell the coffee was going to taste watery and terrible. The clock kept ticking, and the five remained silent, each in different stages of waking up or rather, different efforts of keeping awake.

 

“Are you hard, _Cor_?”

Nyx’s question broke the silence. The words pulled everybody out of their own thoughts before reactions soon took over. Cor was staring at his boots when his eyes met Crowe’s who in the same instance got up from her seat, and now he was trying to process Nyx’s question. Crowe was hiding behind her captain as she tried to cover her laughing with her hands.

“I beg your pardon?” Cor turned his head to face the glaive who sat beside Ignis. Ignis’ face was slightly furrowed with confusion and tiredness.

As soon as he had said it Nyx had realized his mistake, but he had no way of hiding his red face and the horror in his eyes. Inspired by Crowe’s pun earlier, he figured he’d have a try too, if anything to keep himself from falling asleep. In his head, his pun was a play on the word _hardcore_. Which he figured was an appropriate thing to ask a man of Cor’s stature. Instead he had just asked the Marshal if he was _hard_ , and there were witnesses to confirm it as well.

Not wanting to meet the eyes of the man he had just asked a rather inappropriate question, or anyone else’s for that matter, Nyx struggled to find something to look at. In the end he focused on the plastic cup in his hand. Cor turned to look at Crowe who was still laughing. She had distanced herself from him as Nyx’s question prompted her to look at his lap, which had not gone unnoticed by Cor. Crowe offered her hand towards Cor as she returned to her seat, trying to apologize; “I’m so sorry, when people say _up_ I just instantly look _up_ , you know? I didn’t mean to-” Cor gave up on Crowe, her high pitched laughing seemingly impossible to stop or reason with and instead looked past Ignis again, forcing a questioning stare onto Nyx, who was staring into his coffee cup as if it was the most interesting thing ever. Titus offered no help to any of them.

“What did you mean to say, Ulric?”

As Cor asked, Ignis’ composure was still intact, but he was clearly trying to suppress a small laugh. Bafflement was present in Cor’s voice, his demeanor relaxed despite the hint of authority in his question.

“I didn’t think my pun through, sorry sir.” Nyx had mustered the courage to look away from his cup and into the eyes of the Marshal as he said it. Cor could only stare in disbelief at the glaive. Crowe’s laughs had subdued to hiccups.

Titus left his seat to use the coffee machine, both shaking his head and smiling. Nyx remained red faced and silent, lowering his head and crossing his arms and legs, trying to merge into his seat. This was the most embarrassed he had ever been. Between Crowe’s strained noises, Cor’s resignation and Nyx’s embarrassment, Ignis was finding it harder to keep a straight face. Perhaps it was the early hours and lack of sleep, perhaps it was just the absurdity of what just had happened. Ignoring his instincts Ignis opened his mouth:

“Then, you are soft, _Cor_?”

Titus shot Cor a pitiful look, leaning against the wall as he contemplated the sorry excuse for coffee in his plastic cup. Cor raised an eyebrow, but paid no mind to the younger man beside him. He knew where this was going.

“Or perhaps you are _cor_ ny?” Ignis continued to ask, any sense of self-preservation lost as Crowe’s laughter roared again.

“Good to know I’m not the only one asking _cor_ nographic questions,” Nyx found himself able to laugh again.

“That’s not what I meant,” Ignis addressed Nyx, quick to the defense.

“I find it hard to believe you just made the same mistake I made. You damn well meant that.”

“It is no way cor..related to your misfortune of a pun,” Ignis had paused midsentence. He looked at Cor. This time he hadn’t actually meant to make a pun and it surprised him. Cor found himself in a bind as the people to fix with a stern stare were many.

“Hmm. _Cor_ nography.” Crowe mused, finally somewhat capable of producing actual words rather than laughs, sensing the playfulness in the air.

“It is a niche _cor_ ner, that’s for sure,” Nyx snorted.

All around Cor, the tiredness that before characterized the room was replaced with laughter. Crowe’s seemed the most pained.

“The Marshal. Legendary both in exploits and talents. Bullied because of the name his loving parents chose for him by his subordinates… who are also giggling like teenage girls.” Titus made no attempt at calming his glaives, but simply regarded Cor who could only try to understand how this had happened.

“Everybody shut up and nobody gets hurt,” Cor scowled jokingly, crossing his arms as he contemplated his boots again.

“That’s a _cor_ rible thing to say, Marshal,” Ignis retorted. There was a soft, almost pleading look in Cor’s eyes as he faced Ignis again. A small smile evident at the corner of Cor’s mouth.

“I will have you all fired.” Cor continued, looking straight ahead, knowing full well anything he said would be pointless. The empty threat stifled the laughs around him for a moment, but smiles were still in full effect.

 

“Hmm. _Cor_ rupt as well I see,” Titus quipped.

His eyes rested on the thwarted face of the marshal. Titus took a sip of his coffee, not hiding the smirk on his face. Cor merely sighed. And so, kicked off by the captain, any restraint the people had around Cor vanished.

“As long as you don’t make _cor_ pses of us, sir,” A hint of smugness tinted both Ignis’ words and face.

“ _Cor_ ffins are expensive, you know,” Nyx continued, happy with the direction the conversation sparked by his initial mistake had taken.

“Should I call a _cor_ oner?” Crowe, her laughing the loudest noise in the room once again.

Cor closed his eyes and covered his face with both hands. It was going to be a long day.

If one walked into the room, one would assume that the merry young people had just returned from a night of drinking and the Marshal was nursing a headache. But if one was seated next to Cor as Ignis was, one could easily see the smile present on the ever serious Marshal’s lips.


End file.
